I Was

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God loves me
They always told me that he does
That he will always love me
As long as was good

They told me he'd always answer my prayers
That he would listen to me
That he would protect me
As long as I was good

He would answer my prayers for good grades
For good health
For good friends
Anything
As long as I was good

They told me to be the perfect daughter
To marry a good man
To have lots of kids
To raise them in the eyes of god
That it would happen
As long as I was good

They told me if I was bad, I'd burn in hell
That I'd suffer for all eternity
But that wouldn't happen
As long as I was good

It never felt like god loved me
My prayers were never answered
Even though I prayed exactly as they told me to
I thought I was good

My grades slipped
My health got worse and worse
I struggled to make friends
I thought I was good

I prayed harder
It felt like god ignored me
I felt horrible
It felt like he never loved me
I thought I was good

They told me to pray even more
That I was just bad at prayer
That I must have done something wrong
I thought I was good

I didn't want to be a perfect daughter
I wanted to be a son
But they hated that
I wasn't good

I wanted a good husband
But they hated that
Because I wanted to be a boy
I wasn't good

They always told me I'd burn in hell
They said I'd die a painful death
When I started to love myself, they called me the devil
I wasn't good

I was in first grade when they told me I'd burn in hell
They made so many threats
Said so many painful things
I was bad

They kept telling me I'd burn in hell
Every little mistake, I'd burn in hell
I'd burn in hell no matter what, even as a baby
They said I deserved to burn in hell
I was bad

I lost my faith in god
They ruined it
They ruined me
They ruined everything
I stopped caring
I am bad

I'll burn in hell
Just as they said
But I'll burn happy
Knowing I was good in the end
Just not in their eyes 

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