My Love

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I still say hello to their house whenever I leave the house
When I get coffee
When I walk to the library

"Hello, my love"
"Good morning, my love"
"Afternoon, my love"
"Good evening, my love"

Even though I know the house is empty
I watched them pack up
I watched their car pull out
I watched the moving truck leave
I knew they'd be leaving weeks before they left

Even though I watch everything get thrown out
The furniture they left behind
Their old toys
Books I know they loved
Photo albums I couldn't save

I didn't get to say goodbye
Not in person
Just a simple text message

"Have fun, my love"

The same as every message sent when they leave
But it felt different

It felt like never being able to walk with them for coffee again
Like never being able to walk to the store with them again
Like never being able to see them wandering the block
Like never having the chance to frantically wave at them
Like never having the chance to yell out their name
Like I'll never be able to see them every day ever again

I know they're just a message away
Just a call away
Maybe a 20-minute walk, if I'm feeling well enough

But it's not the 30-second walk anymore
It's not the same
I won't have the energy to play like we used to
To hang out on my porch and play stupid songs
To dance and do silly challenges
To chase ice cream trucks

I can't just text
"You wanna go to Walgreens and be mad at prices?"

I can't just appear before their house
Spam texting them that I'm there and to come out

No more seeing their family and hoping they like me
At least, not in person
I know their mom doesn't like me
She says I'm a bad influence
That I'm weird
But that never bothered me

Just as long as we could stay friends
My best friend
My darling
My love

I wait for you
For your breaks
For when you have time for me again
So we can go to the parks
To the playground
And be kids together again 

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